Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I want a musical about memes.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
We smell like vodka and hangover
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