He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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