Please, let me fuck your mom
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
