and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
