fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize