I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
