What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Bring me that man meat
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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