is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
