True but thats because hes a fetus.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
