Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize