This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
organizing the empties. That sober.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
