I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
