I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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