His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I still have a little drunk in my system
Randomize
