Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
