after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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