So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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