just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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