I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
