i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
