I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
