hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i want to fuck
it's pretty self explanatory
Just took my morning after pill in the library
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes