If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
