I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
