where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
