stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
You did what with his pubic hair?
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