worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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