I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
