I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
