There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
