So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
