I want to have your abortion
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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