I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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