4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
