Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
her facebook's as public as her vagina
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
