I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
