she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
