this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
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