i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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