Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
