Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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