Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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