I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
