i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
