Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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