Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
