did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
