No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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