no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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