we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
