You're completely useless in the revolution.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
