When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize