Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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