I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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