Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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