I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
