Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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