I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
If its not for food we ain't going out.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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